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[ [ Catfishing with Eva

Last updated on September 19, 2025

Mae approached Andy’s window side table; her sneakers squeaking softly against the restaurant’s tiled floor. Steam rose from his soup as recognition flickered warmly in his demeanor with each closing step.

“Mind if I join you?” She pulled out the opposite chair and settled into it with her accessibly secured to its back. Andy’s shoulders relaxed slightly.

“Calendar trading’s been a rollercoaster this earnings cycle. Some positions paid off beautifully, others… well, let’s just say August was humbling.”

Leaning forward with her chin on her palm. “Humbling how? Are we talking ‘microwave dinners’ or ‘reconsidering my life choices’ humbling?”

“Continuing education doesn’t pause for volatility spikes.” he laughed. “Between academic deadlines, résumé polishing, borrowed shares and options expiration dates, sleep has become a theoretical concept.”

Her gaze drew his hand to his spoon and his untouched soup. “When did you last eat something that wasn’t caffeine-based?”

Outside, the brim of city life hurried past in the early autumn dusk. Andy’s phone buzzed against the table surface, but he flipped it face down into darkness.

“Speaking of research…” Andy’s voice dropped conspiratorially. “I’ve been experimenting with unconventional inspiration methods for character development.”

Bavia caught the server’s attention, gesturing toward the wine menu. “Glass of the Malbec, please.” She turned back to Andy with raised eyebrows. “Unconventional how? Please tell me you’re not doing method acting in public places again.”

“Found this obvious catfishing profile using my longtime celebrity crush.” Andy’s hands moved as he spoke, drawing invisible connections in the air. “You know my writing process, I use the exploration of philosophy and scientific concepts by building them upon the emotional frameworks of personal experiences and vulnerabilities so that I can mentalize character and plot development”

The server returned promptly, setting a glass on the table with quiet efficiency.

“Okay, I’ll bite.” Mae smirked while crawling her wine. “Which celebrity, and how obvious was ‘obvious’?”

Andy’s eyebrows shot up. “Eva Green. Didn’t we discuss my thing for enigmatic actresses when I was reminiscing about my crushes on female music icons from the 80s? Anyway, I thought by summarily simulating our 2000-message exchange I could make a substitution for my usual mindfulness process and reignite the flourish of creative achievement I had during the last year.”

Nearly choking in a gurgled laugh,”Wait. How many messages with the catfisher? Was it research, or a part-time relationship.”

“I mixed details I’d shared with you and prefaced everything with how I only knew Eva from print media like the Arts & Culture desks of the New York Times and the Wall Street Journal. “

Andy softened his voice for sophistication to sync with the animated response catching its breath in Mae’s widening eyes. “Every reply followed the same template: ‘Wow, the way you discuss X and connect it to Y through your deep brain insights is fascinating.’ They were generically made without personal essence.”

Brushing her bangs back to inspect his expression,”to clarify for my understanding, how much time did you spend rewording our deep philosophical conversations with someone you knew was pretending to be a woman you’ve never met in order to inspire the creation of fictional characters?” She paused. “That’s either brilliant or deeply concerning.”

“The punchline isn’t the week I spent being convincing.” With hushed irritation, “ It was the fact that after I drew attention to the Luminaries and her London residency by referencing a review of Birnam Wood to show off my literary prowess, I got hit with a Green Dot payment demand for five hundred dollars so that “Eva’s manager” could arrange a personal meeting.”

“Five hundred dollars? For Eva Green’s manager to make room on her schedule, for you?“

“The timing was perfect too,” Andy continued, missing her logic entirely. “Right when my new nutritional supplements were generating strong reward signaling, improving my circulation and testosterone levels.”

Mae stared at him for a long moment, then burst into laughter. “Oh honey. Oh no. You got catfished while on testosterone boosters, didn’t you? That’s like… that’s like being scammed while drunk, but with more confidence.”

Andy’s face reddened. “The supplements were for cognitive enhancement”

“Andy.” Bavia reached across the table and patted his hand. “Next time you want to understand complex female characters, maybe just… read more books written by actual women? Revolutionary concept, I know.”

The waitress returned on cue when Bavia waived her glass, setting down a second one and, her voice reverent, revealing “Our delightful malbec chosen tonight to be a house wine is El Enemigo. This particular Argentinian vintage aged beautifully.”

Mae lifted the glass, inhaling the wine’s complexity. The Malbec’s richness dissolved her willingness to rejoin her friends, who she could see had anticipatingly decided not to wait for her return to begin their meal.

Andy leaned forward slightly, his hands steadied atop the tablecloth and open upward . “Speaking of sophisticated appreciation, I’ve been thinking about writers who understand the difficulties endured when longing canvasses distance. Zadie Smith captures it with precision in her explorations of displacement. Then there’s Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, whose characters authentically navigate geographical and emotional separations from love ”

He paused, watching Mae soften. “Jhumpa Lahiri builds entire narratives around the ache of absence, and of course, Kiran Desai won the Booker for examining tensions between presence and distance, belonging and yearning.”

Mae ‘s laugh bubbled up unexpectedly, her eyes brightening with genuine amusement. “Are you actually comparing our situation to prize-winning literature right now?” She reached across the table, her fingertips barely grazing his wrist. “A year ago I would have called you pretentious, but it is incredibly charming now”

Replying with mock seriousness betrayed by his smile. “I practice being pretentious in mirrors at home.”

Her expression shifted and focused. “Speaking of practice, what about tomorrow’s academic meeting? The one that could reshape your entire trajectory here?”

Andy’s posture broadened, his hand unconsciously moving to adjust his collar. “Actually, the preliminary discussions have been more promising than I anticipated. Positive news will leverage a deeper alignment with the Iron Chisels Iron Realty Group.”

“Leverage,” Mae repeated, rolling the word around like wine on her tongue. “It sounds duplicitously vague, but mysteriously important.”

“The best kind of important,” he agreed, his thumb gathering courage by tracing small circles on the table near her hand. “The kind that transforms academic theories into practical applications, theoretical frameworks into actual development projects.”

Mae tilted her head, studying him with renewed interest. “You’re talking about how spaces get developed, how communities get built, aren’t you?”

“Exactly that kind of influence.” His confidence strengthened by her enthusiasm.

She lifted her glass again with her eyes meeting his over the rim, “to participating.”

“To being present rather than distant,” he replied, his fingers finally making deliberate contact with hers.

Andy Adkins

#UnwrittenHistory Arendt Walked Away from Omelas (Le Guinn was a Fulbright scholar. Fulbright employed & fully invested in Clinton. Fulbright visited Arendt & offered ASC docs. FT, as a favor, finds Ark Dist 3 bank filings that lead to a call to a Louisiana phone number in ’75 #Eschatology & a #BrokenHeart